We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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