speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
