why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
