shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
