gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
