just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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