Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
