bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
