good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
It's like God shit irony all over that family
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
