What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
