She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
