i think i have herpe
just one?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
