Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
