It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
