So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
