Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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