this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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