when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
