respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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