Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize