U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize