Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
