We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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