try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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