i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
