lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
