Where is the hickey?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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