Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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