It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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