I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
