Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize