260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
