i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
