your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
