So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
