when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
