Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Randomize