this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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