It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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