I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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