So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
