So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
that's an acceptable place to lick
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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