I need help removing her.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
