Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
