he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
