Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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