Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
