I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Randomize
