You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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