I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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