cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
