Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
