If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
