Sponge bath it is.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
