Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
