I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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