it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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