thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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