it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
