big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
