i think my mom watched the whole time
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
