Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
