I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
