Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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